Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

How do I build rapport with anybody?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Is Daenerys Targaryen really the most beautiful woman, or is everyone saying that just to flatter her?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know who the president of Turkey really is

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Why do I want to suck cock tonight?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

How can we become the best humans? How can we trust each other?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have been married for 34 years, and I found out my wife lied, and cheated a lot back before we got married. Does she not change, or is it possible she is still a cheater?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What are your thoughts about Hulk Hogan at the Republican National Convention in support of Trump and ripping his shirt off? Did he exaggerate?

I understand how hurricane paths work

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

How can I decorate my house creatively?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

How did Nickelback gain a large fan base despite criticism of their music?

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

I can read

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I see through liars

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light